Anniversary Weekend!

Well, Jason and I went out to Lone Star in Fayetteville for dinner last night, he knows it is one of my favorite restaurants. It was nice to have a dinner alone and actually be able to talk to each other. We did some shopping and then we went to see The Book of Eli which is a really, really good movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but no more 10pm movies for me, I almost fell asleep at the end! This was not for lack of interest but that I was just so tired.

Today was rather uneventful at first, I went to Wal Mart and got some stuff we had to have. But clumsy me, I was trying to talk to Rachel on the porch and get stuff out of the car and answer the phone all at the same time. I turned around to go down the steps, missed the step and fell down all the steps, landing on the pavers in front of the porch. I may be clumsy, but lucky too or either I have bones of steel. I didn't break anything, just got a little skinned knee and a bruised palm, but no blood:) I got up, brushed myself off and went to my sister Jessica's where we pierced my niece Tatianna'a ears. She screamed, I think I can definitely count Sydney out of ever getting hers done, especially after I got the gun stuck on Tata's ear after piercing the second one. Not to mention on the first one she jerked and I didn't have it all the way through so I had to do it again.

We spent the afternoon in the yard playing with the kids and the dogs. I re-potted a plant that was choking to death in the pot it was in. All in all, it was a wonderful day and I am so glad to have these people to call my family!

I am going to call it a night, Sydney is sitting here asking me over and over for a baby brother and I have got to explain to her why she can not have one!

UPDATE

This is an update to yesterdays post. My sister called this morning and talked to the funeral home. They are going to be at the town office Monday morning to see if there is something else they can do. What she wants is to leave the child where it is and let whoever owned the other 4 plots to sign their back over to the town and take hers. She then wants to have 4 plots near the ones she had picked out before. No one wants to have anyone moved. I don't care whose mistake it is, it just isn't right. The child was laid to rest there and there he should stay. If there is a ton of paperwork involved, it's a lot better than disturbing a grave.

Today is the 14th anniversary of the 1st date Jason and I had together. Monday will be our 13th wedding anniversary. We have a babysitter and are going on a date this afternoon, I don't know what is in the plans, but as long as we are together, it will be perfect.

Last but not least, on a funny but also serious note, I think I need to start writing my blogs at night time. Rachel is in the same room with me watching a movie, about 3 feet from me actually. I was writing this blog and talking to Jessica on the phone when Rachel ran into the living room. She hit the Fire Department panic button on the alarm! I canceled it but when they called they said the fire department had been dispatched so they would call and cancel it. Rachel is SO SO busy all the time and full of energy, she demands my FULL ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES!

Moving a body after it has been buried?

Well, today has been relatively unexciting. I have been sick for a couple of days and only left the house to take Sydney to her dental cleaning today. I am going to write about some one else today.

My sister Shannon called me a few minutes ago. If you know her, you know that she is into ancestry and spends a lot of time going to different graveyards. She bought 4 plots at Oakridge Cemetery in Saint Pauls last year trying to go ahead and be prepared is something should happen to her. We also have a lot of family in that graveyard. She went by to check on her plots today and there was someone buried in her spot. She double checked and then went to the town office. Yep, they are in her plot. For whatever reason she thought it was an older lady. While writing this I got another call from her.

There was a child buried in her spot last week. The mother told the funeral home that this was her spot and they buried the child. Well when you buy a plot at Oakridge you have to have a deed filed at the courthouse. Shannon asked if they could just leave the child there and she was told no. The reason being that it would be too much paperwork.

When we thought it was an adult I was joking with her and we were saying they would have to be moved but I said that was wrong and she would have to get different plots. Well, unfortunately the child will have to be moved, that was the decision of the town office which is the result of a town law. Too much paperwork to switch out a plot, but the mother is going to have to pay to get the child moved since she told the funeral home that this plot was hers. I'm sure this was a mistake, yes the plots are numbered and hers are on the same row, but can you imagine what she must have been going through? I had asked a different funeral home how much it costs to have a body moved and I was told it would be about $1000.00. This child was buried last week and I guess that it's better that the mistake was found now instead of months down the road, or when we were trying to bury someone there. Either way this mother is going to get a call saying that her child has to be moved. This is just going to tear open any wounds her heart may be attempting to heal. I can not imagine. you have laid your chid to rest for eternity. A pastor has blessed and prayed for your child over this hallowed ground. I just think that it should never be disturbed. Buy by town law and to avoid too much paperwork it must be done. If anyone reads this, please pray for this mother.

Men are so forgetful!

But what about women? Guys always get blamed for forgetting all of the important stuff in life. Well, I have to fess up. While I did not actually FORGET our anniversary, I kinda did.

We are going next weekend to take Sydney to the beach for her birthday, so I said we wil just combine it with our anniversary celebration too, even though the girls will be with us. So I wasn't really thinking about what exact day our anniversary was and the end of the month kind of snuck up on me too. So here it goes:

Jason called me from work a couple of days ago and said "I'm going to get a babysitter so I can take you out Saturday" I said "Why?" and he said "Why not?" and I said "I don't know, if you want to." and that was that. The worst part is that I did not realize that he was wanting to take me out to dinner for our anniversary until 9 hours later, and even worse it finally clicked because I was on Facebook and to the right I saw a little red heart that beside it said:

MONDAY IS YOUR ANNIVERSARY

Isn't that terrible? Jason laughed when I told him about it. He understood when I explained I thought we would go out at the beach and had not really thought about the actual day that is our anniversary. He wasn't upset at all, and I know that if it had been the other way around I would have given him a hard time and probably would not have forgotten it for YEARS. I have a wonderful husband, I better find him a really good 13th anniversary present!

A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.

I found this title online while searching info on negative attitudes. I spent a couple of hours with someone yesterday that was so negative I couldn't wait to get away. Every person we saw, no matter where or what they were doing, this person has something negative to say.

This morning I came across this quote and then I began to think of another of my pet peeves.

"A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which would otherwise heal and do well. "

Of course there could be many different interpretations of this, but here is what I was thinking about:

I get extremely agitated when people start blaming things on their childhood. With that said, I do know there are some things that happen to people that do have a lifelong effect. What annoys me is when you see a mass murdered pleading not guilty due to insanity because his or her father was an alcoholic. A woman that lead a normal life, then drowned her kids but now says it's because she was beat as a child. To me, this is a cop out. Blaming someone else and not taking responsibility for their own actions.

I rarely talk about my childhood but that's because it wasn't very good. My parents separated when I was 8 and went on to get divorced. I could beat my kids every day and say it's because my father beat us and beat my mother and I just can't help it. I could be an alcoholic or a drug addict and blame it on being around so many drugs as a child. I could have an affair and say it's because my father had one. COME ON! There were a lot of bad experiences in my childhood but what did I decide? I decided to take them and make the childhood of my girls better. Jason and I don't have shouting matches in front of them, we show them love every day, we spend quality time with them, we don't drink alcohol in their presence, we make life about them. You make your life what you want to make it, no one else. If you blame it on your parents you are full of crap. If your childhood was so terrible and you love your kids, why would you want to put them through the same things? Is is your responsibility as a parent to make sure your kids are emotionally cared for.

Now that I have vented on that subject, I would like to say that I am going to try to be around more positive people. Being around negative people is so depressing.

Planning outings for the kids

Jason and I definitely agree that we need to spend more time outdoors with the girls and spend more time together as a family. Rachel and I are getting stir crazy in the house so I am starting to plan some of our spring, summer and fall day trips as we as a few thing to do on our vacation. If anyone has any ideas of things we can do please let me know.

In March we are planning a trip with some of my family to the NC Zoo. We have been a few times but it's always fun. I am also going to buy the family membership. With this membership we can get into 150 other zoos and aquariums in the US for free or half price. We are going to take advantage of this in 2010. you can also get into the zoo absolutely free for one year, so if we decide to go again this year it will be free!

Sydney's 1st grade class is taking a trip in April to the SC Riverbanks Zoo. Jason and I are going to go along as chaperone's and take Rachel with us. The NC Zoo card will get us in at half price.

I hope that before it's too hot I can take the kids to Jamba's Ranch, somehow this trip has gotten squeezed out of our plans for the last 2 years.

We are going back to the NC Outer banks this year, yay! This is always such a wonderful vacation I can't wait to get there. We always stop by the NC Aquarium in Manteo, and this is one of the freebies as a NC Zoo cardholder. That will save about $26.

Jason and I took a trip to Atlanta this past August. It was great, we plan to take the girls to the Georgia Aquarium later in the year, and the Zoo is only 1 exit before the aquarium so I think we will just make a weekend of it. This zoo is also half off with the NC Zoo membership.

The Georgia Aquarium is absolutely wonderful. It makes Ripley's look like a small pond. They will have a new dolphin exhibit after October 2010, that's what I am waiting for. They also have beluga whales, penguins, a manta ray and tons of creatures I had never seen. It is definitely worth the long trip.

After 2010 I may never be able to get Jason to go to a zoo or aquarium again!

I hope at some point to squeeze in a day trip to Fort Fisher and go to the aquarium. Play on teh beach and maybe ride the ferry, who knows. (This aquarium is also free to NC Zoo cardholders).

ThE lAnD Of LoSt SoCkS

Today I am catching up on all of my laundry, yeah, loads of fun don't you know.

What I would like to know is this, WHERE DO ALL THE SOCKS GO? I can put 2 pink and 2 purple socks in the washer and get out 2 purple and 1 pink. Where did it go? It's not in the lint trap, it's not in the washer or dryer, or under or over or in between them. And I never see it again. Are the kids socks so small that they go down the drain? Then what about my socks? I thought I had a sock eating washer and dryer, but I got a new front loading washer and dryer last year and guess what? I guess they are sock eaters too.

Well, I guess the socks are with all of those hair bows I keep buying for the girls... I could buy 1000 hair bows and socks and still not have matches! My next load is ready so I gotta go!

WATCH OUT MYRTLE BEACH!

Well I am very excited right now. Most of my day has been spent doing 1 thing. Planning a trip for 6 families to go to Myrtle Beach together! My Granny passed away almost 8 years ago and my Uncle Dennis, her son, 2 years ago. He asked me the last year that he was alive to put together a family reunion. He only lived a couple of months after that, so I could not have done it in time.

My Mom and Aunt Diane are the only 2 left from the family of Thomas and Elena Walters. They still have aunts and uncles and cousins but no other siblings. We haven't spent alot of time together except for Christmas Eve for the last few years. I called everyone today and asked what they thought about having a family reunion weekend in Myrtle Beach and everyone agreed it was a good idea! I have already gotten all the hotel info and everything and people are already starting to reserve their rooms! I wish I had done this alot earlier.

Lauren saves the puppies!

Little Bit, this is the name of a puppy my niece Lauren found this week. She was horseback riding a couple of days ago. Her horse was spooked by this tiny puppy and threw her off. The puppy ran into an abandoned barn and Lauren followed her. When she entered the barn she found the mother lying there dead, the other puppies were trying to feed on her. Lauren was able to get the first puppy but could not get the others. She and her friend went back yesterday afternoon and were able to get the others out of the barn. If she had not they would have starved. Lauren was determined to find homes for all of the other puppies and she did, I am so proud of her. Little Bit was the only one left and Lauren was told that she could not keep her. Today she brought me Little Bit and I brought her home with me. My cousin Shelby put a bow around her neck. Sydney, Rachel, Mrs. Lewis and I took her to my daddy as an early birthday present, we then went to the store and got puppy food and bowls and took the supplies back to my daddy. He had ran over his dog a couple of weeks ago and was really upset about it. We made him close his eyes and hold out his hands for a big surprise! When Sydney handed him the puppy and he looked at her he started to cry. It was really sweet. Lauren was really upset when she left me with the puppy. I am sorry she was sad to see her go but so happy that she saved all the puppies from starving to death. It's a very happy day for Little Bit.

Don't be so quick to jude others

This is self explanatory it would seem, but people are so quick to judge others. Why didn't she do this or why didn't she do that? Let me tell you what I am talking about...

Earlier this week there was a tragedy in Robeson County. A 3 year old boy drowned. Each person I talked to had something like this to say: "well, where was his mama?", "why wasn't his mama watching him?" and other rude comments. Everyone jumps to the conclusion automatically that the mother did something wrong, not knowing anything at all about the matter. I will say this, I do not know these people, I have no idea what happened. I can tell you that my heart goes out to this mother and her family. They have been dealt a great loss and I hope I never have to know what it is like to be in her shoes. No one is perfect and I 'm sure all the people that were so quick to judge this woman are no exception. If something happened to your child, an accident, how would you feel is everyone said "this is your fault" and judged you without knowing anything about you?

I would also like to add that as a mother on a very busy 2 year old I know how easy it would be for her to get away from me. Their mind is constantly wandering, they don't think about dangers, everything is fun and games at this age and it's really fun to try to get away from mama. Rachel laughs and runs as fast as she can if she gets away from me. She thinks it's a game, it's fun, it's freedom.

I hope that the mother and the family of this little boy's pain will be eased and she can find a way to go on. My heart goes out to her is all I can say. She has suffered the greatest loss I believe anyone can. We are not supposed to outlive our children.

I am not OCD, I'm just a dedicated repetitive person!

Okay, so my little sister says that I have OCD, so this blog is dedicated to Jessica tonight! My husband tends to agree with her so am just going to lay it all out there for you!


She brought it to my attention that when I was at her house last week, she caught me doing something but just didn't say anything about it. I recall it something like this....

I was cooking for her housewarming party and as I opened the refrigerator I noticed there was something on the handle, so I just casually got the dish rag from the sink and cleaned it off really quick. Jessica recalls it something like this....

She turned around and saw me trying to sneak a clean on the refrigerator. She said that she didn't let me know she was watching but that I was scrubbing it so hard you could probably hear the squeaking from my elbow grease and my face was about 2 inches from the dirty spot, so I was really into it. She said "I can see it now, you aren't gonna let the kids stay over, my house isn't clean enough!" But she so kindly gave me a pass because she knows I have OCD!

Well, my lovely sister went on to list all of my OCD flaws for me this afternoon, WITH EXAMPLES NO DOUBT! Oh, but she did say that maybe it's partly a control issue and not all OCD. Here we go....

I write my vacation to do list 1 year in advance.

I buy vacation supplies 6 months in advance and hide them in the closet.

I plan our Christmas Eve dinner in January.

I call everyone or e-mail them in January with birthday party dates for the rest of the year.

I get upset about bows on my presents if they are not perfect. (it's true) (well, all of this is)

When people come over my house has to be perfectly clean, then if they get it dirty I get upset. Jessica said I will say "Hey, you just brought dirt in on your shoes, clean it up!" She said I can be mean about it....haha.

Well, all I can say is that all of this is true and I just can't help myself, but if anyone needs sunblock in the winter, I am stocked up on it! Gotta get ready for that June vacation!

Okay Jessica, I put some of my worst flaws out there for the world to see, I hope you are happy! I love you! Isn't everyone just a little OCD? or is that said just to make us with OCD fell better?

WASTEFUL HABITS

Today is day 4 of my blog, getting to day 30 seems so far away right now!

I am going to throw one of my worst habits out there today:

Definition of wasteful-

1-given to or characterized by useless consumption or expenditure: wasteful methods; a wasteful way of life.

2-grossly extravagant; prodigal: a wasteful party.


I know we all know the definition of being wasteful, or wasting things. As I was looking in Sydney's closet this afternoon, there are so many clothes in there that she doesn't wear or can't wear, so I started pulling things out. Things that are too small. It is completely rediculous how many clothes we buy for her, not to mention toys too. There are at least a dozen presents she got for Christmas that she hasn't even taken out of the boxes. And also there are some dolls from the year before that are still in boxes. Why do we buy all of these things? I see a cute shirt or hat and pick it up, knowing she already has too many and will be grown out of it in just weeks or months. With grown women it's different, we've finished growing (hopefully) and can keep clothes forever if we want. I just pulled out 12 spring dresses it seems like I just bought and now Sydney can't wear any of them.

My 2 options:

give them away or sell them and feel like I wasted so much money.

or

Wait 4 years for Rachel to wear them and by then they will be out of style, the wrong size, or knowing me I will want to buy new ones. why? I'M WASTEFUL!

Jason tells me all the time, "we cook too much food". We throw it away all the time. There are so many clothes that are never worn. I find clothes in the girls closets with tags on them and just this afternoon I found a pair of brand new, never worn shoes in Sydney's closet. She tried them on....too small. Wasted that money.

SO I said all of this to say that I am making myself more aware of my spending and I am going to try to make a conscious effort to only but the spring and summer clothes that the girls need this year. (I already bought 3 coats this week for next winter, so I have to try REALLY hard. But I know they will wear those!)

I am going to clean out my closets before I buy anymore spring or summer clothes. I am going to have a yard sale or find someone who needs them. That brings me to my last statement. There are people that need all the stuff we hide in the closet, so I am challenging all my friends to get rid of all those old clothes you never wear and give them to someone who will use them. You can have a yard sale, ask around to find someone who can use them, put them on craigslist for free or for sale, or even donate them to a shelter or something. Lets stop being so wasteful.

Hopefully I am not boring anyone to death that may choose to read my blog, hang in there, I hope to improve!

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!

Some of you may have seen my weekend post on Facebook about everyone wanting it to snow, then dying for it to melt ASAP! Well it just annoyed me that everyone is always wanting it to snow so bad and then there were a ton of posts about "please let this snow melt". How long did it last anyway? Personally, I LOVE the snow and wish it would have stayed around longer. I enjoyed getting outside with the girls. I don't know who had more fun, the girls or me and Jason. The look on their faces when it started snowing was worth a million dollars!


It just seems to me that everyone is always in a rush and need to stop every now and then to enjoy life. I really really try not to have any regrets in life. It passes so quickly. There are people I have lost in my life that I would do anything just to get 5 more minutes with. I truly do mean that, just 5 minutes. Say what you need to say while the people important to you are here and before they get sick. Not everyone has the chance to get sick, sometimes there is a tragedy such as a car accident that take people away so quickly. If you didn't let them know how you feel or hash out problems you may have had, guess what, you are left with that burden and have to live with the regret.

Today I got Sydney out of school early and we had a girls day out. We went shopping and then went to see The Tooth Fairy at the movies, which we really enjoyed. Tonight I am making this post short, I am going to spend time with Jason and the girls. We're going to play board games, have dinner and watch tv!

If you haven't slowed down to spend time with the ones you love, try it. It's really refreshing!

STRANGERS

I titled todays entry STRANGERS for one simple reason. I kept thinking all day about something that happened when Sydney was smaller. Kids are a very good judge of character. Back to that in a moment...

This has had me thinking about my own character. I always try to teach my girls about strangers and safety. But sometimes I think I may be a little too paranoid. I'm in a small town where there usually isn't alot of crime, although there has been more and more recently. But as a mother am I too paranoid that something is going to happen to one of my girls? Probably not, I think it's just a Mama thing.

I've always been taught to "treat others like you would like to be treated" and "don't judge a book by it's cover". Sometimes I think we all lose sight of these values and is it always "safe" to follow these guidelines our parents have taught us? This brings me back to the story of a shopping trip to LOWES that Sydney and I had a few years back.

Sydney is 2 years old. Thank GOD it's saturday because I have been so tired all week. Jason is working nightly 12 hour shifts that particular weekend, so when he came in I got up with Sydney so he could go to bed. I walked through the master bathroom to enter the closet and when I did, I stepped into VERY wet carpet. The water heater is behind my closet and a pipe had burst. LOWES here we come. Jason gave me a list of supplies and so here I go with my toddler to LOWES where I have no idea what I am looking for. The plan is for me to get the supplies while he tries to get a little sleep and he will fix the pipe before returning to work another 12 hour shift.

At LOWES everything is easy to find, I get what we need and head to the checkout, this is going surprisingly well. Except for the creep I just got out of line to get away from and he has now gotten behind us in another line. I'm holding Sydney and trying not to look at him because he is making me feel very uncomfortable to say the least. WOW he should have been a character in Wrong Turn. Camo hat, plaid shirt, missing a couple of teeth and the rest are rotten. He wasn't the cleanest person, I knew he had to be a "crack head" for sure. Sydney kept waving at him and talking to him and he was talking to her. I tried to get her attention on something else, I gave him a smile, no need to be rude. I paid and got out of there really quick. We got to the car and I always put my keys in the front seat so I was sure not to lock the doors or anything like that with the baby in the car. I put the keys in the front and strap Sydney in the car seat, diaper bag with cell phone is in front of Sydney's seat in the floor. Everything is good to go so I quickly shut the door. I go around to the drivers side and the door is locked! When I was in a hurry to toss the keys something hit the button to lock the doors, exactly what I was trying to avoid! The man in the car behind me was leaving, I asked if he had a cell I could use because I needed to get Jason to come and unlock my car. He just looked at me like a fool, never spoke and left...what an ass, do you not see this baby locked in the car? I can't leave the car, my baby is in there...no one would help me! Did I mention it was like August or September? It wasn't too hot, about 10am, but then as if I needed anything else to happen, it started pouring rain, it's getting hot in the car and the baby is starting to sweat...

Right when I am about to lose my mind and freak out who shows up? Mr. Wrong Turn! He saw me from across the parking lot and came to help me! He gave me his cell to call Jason and told me to get in the truck. It was raining so hard, I could barely see her in the car when I was standing outside. He parked behind my car so I could be close to the baby and let me call Jason about 100 times until I got him on the phone! His cell phone was dying! Meanwhile, his wife called, cursing him for everything he was worth, wanting to know where he was and when he would be home. He asked me not to say anything because if his wife heard me she would swear he was having an affair! Well, the best part of this story is that he came from 2 hours away to get a part he needed. His LOWES salesperson told him that the closest place that had what he needed was in Lumberton and that there were 5 available. There were ZERO and he ended up getting something that he could have gotten from home. He was the only person that would help me that day. I felt horrible about the thoughts about him that has passed through my mind and how I had judged him. He was my hero that day and I could not thank him enough! My mom got there in just a few minutes and I got Sydney from the car. She was scared, sweaty and crying so hard.
All in all, I am trying not to judge people by their appearance, they can't help the way they look!

Afterthoughts

I would just like to add that after I posted my Valentines post I thought for a few minutes. My life is wonderful, from my post it may not have seemed so. I have 2 absoutely wonderful girls and could never ask for more. Yes on days like today and what would have been my due date and birthdays I do think about my first baby, my girls have helped to lessen that pain. If there is anyone out there that thinks their dreams will never come true, only you can make it happen. Embrace your dreams, MAKE them come true because it is possible. The world can be yours if you want it bad enough. Don't let other people bring you down and don't have a pitty party for yourself, pick yourself up and go get what you want whether it's a baby, a career, a house, a lover.... MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Valentine's Day 2010

I am starting my blog today, Valentine's Day and hope everyone is having a wonderful day! My valentine is at work until 8pm, although I do have 2 mini valentines here to keep me company. I want to use my blog to get things off of my mind. If anyone does decide to read my blog they may be surprised to find I am not exactly who they thought unless they are my best friend Jason or my sister Jessica. It was questionable to start today of all days. Every year everyone asks "What did you get for Valentine's Day?" So many times I have gotten strange looks when I say "We don't celebrate Valentine's Day." Some think my husband is cheap or whatever... I don't care what they think, we had our reasons and its no ones business. So here it is.....10 years ago today, Jason and I lost our first baby. It was Valentine's Day and everything was fine, we both went to work and later that morning I had to go to the doctor to be told that the baby I had been carrying for 3 months was gone. Well not gone, but the exact words were "I'm sorry but there is no heartbeat." We then were sent to a room to wait for the doctor who actually forgot I was there and went to lunch, and an hour and a half later was told he would do surgery the next day. So there it is, our reason for not celebrating this day. But since we have had 2 wonderful girls and we now celebrate it for them. WOW! I am really not trying to depress anyone, I had no idea what I was going to write when I sat down today. But if you want to know about my life, you have to take the good with the bad! And by the way I did get roses and a balloon and will be getting some very pretty earrings! Now I'm off to cook dinner and give my girls a bath, I hope to have daily entries for the next 30 days! I hope you plan to join me so I can get that adult interaction I need!